How to Plan an Engagement Session that Feels like you 

When you type “engagement session” into Pinterest, you get a range of different results. You have your golden hour sessions in a field, you have your moody sessions in an art museum, you have your very chic sessions in some downtown area, you have your beachside sessions that look straight out of a romance novel… So many different ideas and so many different aesthetics. All of the options can make it incredibly difficult to narrow down your approach for your own engagement session. But, I’ve got you. Similarly to how I approach wedding days, I look at engagements through a storytelling lens. Whenever I work with my couples to plan their engagement session, we work with one very important framework – your engagement photos should feel like you.

An engagement session is more than checking a box on your long wedding-related to-do list. It’s more than a photoshoot for your save-the-dates. And, hot take, it’s more than an opportunity to work with and bond with your wedding photographer before your big day. It’s more than all of those things.

It’s a pause in your schedule, a chance to reconnect, and an opportunity to create something that genuinely reflects your relationship in this season of life. 

Think about it. How long have you been with your partner? Your relationship dynamic is the culmination of getting to know each other, pursuing mutual interests, having fun, and much more. Your wedding photos will celebrate the start of your journey as a married couple. What about everything that came before that? That’s where your engagement photos come in. 

Start by Looking at Your Relationship

The very first step in planning your engagement session is to consider who you are as a couple. What do your weekends look like? Where do you feel most comfortable? The more you lean into details from your real life, the more the session will feel like a true reflection of who you are. 

To hone into these details, I highly recommend journaling to get started. This is kind of broad but the type of journaling I’m referring to specifically is stream-of-consciousness journaling. Crack open your fave journal (I prefer ones with no lines so I can organize creatively), and write down anything and everything that comes to mind relating to what your relationship is like. It can relate directly or indirectly to your engagement photos and what they’ll look like. This will help you to declutter your thoughts. 

Here’s some prompts to get you started (these, and more, are featured in the questionnaire that I send to all my couples!): 

• What do you want to remember about your relationship in 1 year? 20 years?
• What’s your love language? What’s your partner’s love language?
• What’s the first thing you noticed about your partner? What’s the first thing they noticed about you?
• What are your favorite things to do together?

Pick a Location That Feels Personal

In every great story, there’s a great setting. When building an engagement session that feels like you, we have to think about your setting and how it tells your story.

This isn’t a hot take – but in case you needed to hear it: your engagement photos don’t have to be in the same park where everyone gets their engagement photos done if you don’t want them to be. I have lots of people that request Oak Openings for their engagement session, but I also have a lot of people that want anything but Oak Openings. As long as the location feels right to you (and they allow photos there), the world really is your oyster. 

Break out the journal again and this time, think about locations that hold meaning for you. Maybe it’s the park where you got engaged, your favorite coffee shop, the farmer’s market you visit every Saturday, or even your own backyard lit with string lights. It also could be a new place you’ve been wanting to visit. Maybe it’s a wine bar up the street, or maybe it’s a National Park on the other side of the country. If nothing comes to mind, or you’re not sure how to choose between all your options, I’m happy to help you decide. For my couples that live in or around Toledo, I went ahead and put together a list of locations in the area.  

Whether you’re drawn to cozy and intimate or open and adventurous, the right spot makes all the difference when thinking about how to plan an engagement session that feels genuine.

Treat It Like a Date, Not a To-Do List

When you approach the session as an experience, rather than a task, everything shifts. Like I said before, your engagement session is so much more than a box checked on your long-as-heck, wedding-related to-do list.

Instead of just showing up to smile for the camera, look at your session as intentional time spent together. Just like you might on date night, pick an activity – one that you love doing or one you’ve been wanting to try – and incorporate it into your session. This could look like a slow morning at home with coffee and records, a walk through your neighborhood during golden hour, or a picnic in a field. Your engagement session should feel like something you’d want to do even if there wasn’t a photographer there. That’s where the most natural moments unfold and where candids really shine. 

Choose Outfits That Feel Like You

Clothing can feel like a big decision, but it doesn’t have to be. Choose outfits that you feel confident and comfortable in. Soft textures, natural colors, and layers tend to photograph beautifully, but what matters most is that you feel like yourselves. If your go-to look is jeans and a tee, bring that. If your partner lives in flannel and boots, that works too.

✨Pro-tip: I recommend bringing at least two outfits if you’d like a little variety. That usually looks like bringing something casual and something elevated. But if those two categories don’t align, go with what feels right. Pick two casual outfits, pick three elevated outfits, pick whatever feels like you. If you get stuck, I’d be happy to help with decision making. But remember, the most important part of how to plan an engagement session is staying true to your style and energy.

Think About Light

Light is such an important element in photography. After all, at the most basic of levels, photography is just the tangible evidence of light. That being said, different types of light will create different types of ambiance for your photos. The main four types of light are going to be golden hour light, direct light, overcast light, and artificial light. The only one you’ll really be able to plan for will be artificial light, as the others are up to Mother Nature, but learning about them all can help you to make the best decision for timing your session.

Golden Hour Light

Golden hour light is definitely the most popular, with a warm and soft glow. Not to nerd out, but psychologically, warm light is associated with comfort, relaxation, and intimacy. It makes sense that the warmest light of the day would be the most popular for these sessions that embody romantic partner intimacy.

A lot of photographers really love it – myself included – and many photographers will encourage all their couples to book golden hour sessions only. However, since we can’t always guarantee that we’ll get a fantastic sunset due to the weather, I recommend becoming familiar with other types of light and the amazing images that are made with them.  That said, for a golden hour session, I’d recommend starting your photos about one to two hours before sunset or just before sunrise and the hours after. Depending on your location, this timing might change a bit, depending on tree coverage and other environmental factors. 

Direct Light

Direct light has had a huge resurgence in the last few years, and I totally get it. What’s not to love about clear blue skies? Direct light can bring a high-contrast look to your photos that may feel editorial and bold. It also opens up the door creatively to begin playing with shadows, which adds to that bold and creative look. These sessions are often planned 3-4 hours before sunset. Don’t want the bold, creative look for your entire session or you’re worried about squinting and sweating in the sun? Don’t worry – we can find shaded spots for a softer light.

Overcast Light

Overcast light is present in most engagement sessions – clouds are gonna cloud, ya know. But they aren’t a bad thing. Overcast light is generally fairly, even as the clouds act as a light-diffuser for the sun. For your session, this will look like very crisp, even lighting that may feel more timeless than direct light or golden hour light. 

Artificial Light

Artificial light is so broad as it applies to any light that isn’t the sun. That could mean flash, a full studio lighting set-up, overhead lighting at a restaurant, neon signs, or anything else. If you want to do an indoor session, or a session after the sun has already set, it’s definitely something you’ll want to think about and possibly a discussion you’ll want to have with your photographer.

Just Be Yourselves

When you’re in front of the camera, you don’t need to worry about studying up on how to pose or where to look. I like to say that there’s no experience required to step in front of my camera. My goal is to help you feel relaxed and connected, and I’ll guide you gently with prompts that bring out those natural interactions. Whether that means dancing in the kitchen, walking hand-in-hand through a favorite spot, or sitting close and sharing a quiet moment, the most meaningful images come from simply being yourselves.

I also encourage my couples to let me know when a prompt doesn’t feel right — if you aren’t dancing-in-the-kitchen kind of people, we don’t have to do that.

Bring the Details That Matter

Little details can bring even more heart into your session. Think about things that are special to you as a couple — maybe even break out the journal again to refer to your notes or start making a list. These details might look like a shared record collection, a guitar, your dog, or the handwritten note one of you tucked into the other’s bag years ago. Incorporating those pieces makes your session even more personal. When you’re considering how to plan an engagement session that tells your story, these meaningful details often say the most without needing words.

Be Open to the Unexpected

And if things don’t go exactly as planned, that’s okay. Sometimes the most beautiful images happen when the unexpected shows up. Maybe the sky clouds over, maybe it starts to drizzle, maybe you stumble into a new spot on the way to your original one. Being open to those moments allows for real, heartfelt memories to be captured exactly as they unfold.

Celebrate the Moment You’re In

Your engagement is a short and special chapter. It’s filled with planning and excitement but also with quiet, tender moments worth remembering. Your session is a chance to celebrate exactly where you are right now, before the next chapter begins.

If you’re wondering how to plan an engagement session that feels like home, like laughter, like sunlight on your skin or a warm coffee cup between your palms, we’re here for that. Let’s create something that feels real and true to your relationship.

When you’re ready, reach out, to start planning a session that reflects your love in all its messy, beautiful, honest magic.